Sister, no matter what.....

She was there with me all the time. She was my first friend , she was more like a parent to me and sometimes like a daughter to me... We never left each other and every time we met, it was hard to part us.... We could play for hours and she would listen to all that I instructed her during our games.

I played with her, went to school with her, slept with her, said her my dreams, sometimes even bathed with her and even cried together when the eyes started to irritate due to the shampoo, dressed each other up, and shared the marks with each other.....almost like two inseparable innocent souls.We were two innocent kids. Time went on like this, at home, in the parties...everywhere and everyone started thinking we were sisters of the same parent....

Then one day I lost my father and still she was there, to hold me. We were kids. I thought,like we post letters to keep in contact with people living far away, I could do the same to talk with my father,to keep in contact with him even after his death. In this plan she helped me wrote the letters and put them in the envelopes and still kept it a secret, but when the time came to write the mailing address, we failed. I didn't know the address of heaven even after googling it. We were kids. So we together, made the letters float  down the waters of the Holy River cause I from somewhere had read that after death the soul left the body and went to the Holy River to cleanse and then again came into the world of human taking some other life form....expecting the same would happen with my father's soul and he would come across my letters... We were kids.

Our relation grew stronger as we grew older. She held my hand at all the bad and good times. She helped me out during the times of crisis and also saved me from the troubles I got myself into. She was more to me than just a cousin sister.

And then One Day our families had some issues which made them drift apart. Some misunderstandings....they stopped seeing each other ....even talking. But I was small, I didn't know the family politics. It was the heart of an innocent and I cried for my friend, for my love, for my support, for my sister, my cousin sister. Nobody heard me, no one could see the tears that tore my heart apart for her, the pain that I carried in my eyes ....just to be with her. Tell her that whatever may happen with our families, how much ever they fought and didn't speak with each other I will still be there for her at bad and good times, like always. I dialed her number....waited till the last ring ........and  her mother said its a wrong number and hung up. I waited for her call.....sat beside the telephone staring at it, getting startled at every ring, but her call never came.....I didn't hear her voice for months....we never stayed so long without talking with each other even during our major fights. I was scared to lose another loved one from my life. I still expected one day she would talk to me...we would meet.....may be not at each other's place but at school...I still found the possibility and I still expected.... I was a kid.

School started....but didn't see her. Went to her class, asked her friends, ......she was absent the first day. Next day it was again the same story...and it went on for a week.
On a bright sunny Monday...while I was coming down from my school bus and getting in the school, I saw her. Far, she came out of her private car and with the messy attitude, as she is, was rushing in the school gate. I called her name, as many times as I could, every time louder than the previous time. She didn't hear me......or did she unheard me ....... I went to her class during the recess time, but she wasn't there. From her friends I came to know she was in the field playing. I couldn't find her even in the field. I just wanted to talk with her once....that's all I wanted. I couldn't accept our friendship breaking due to our family conflicts....I never wanted to lose a friend as it is I make very few friends......I never wanted to lose her..... After all I was just a kid.

All I needed was a chance to speak with her.....all I craved was a chance to speak with her.... Days, weeks, months passed by and I kept waiting for that chance.... I tried all that I could just to for once come in front of her....but every time I felt as if I am not being seen by her......or is it that I am being ignored! And if ever we came face to face she passed a faint smile and sneaked out while I ran ....chasing her ....just to talk with her once. I was a kid.

Like this....the years passed by, my urge to talk with her got suppressed with the years....but still the flame burned in my heart....and school got over. We were no more kids .....grown up young ladies. Everyone said I have a beautiful face but I always found her more admiring and beautiful even with her dark complexion and short height.

Slowly with time the misunderstandings between the families got sorted out and again the old bonding started to revive. But us....I mean me and her still didn't see each other. I went her house praying just to meet her but found her not present. She was out with her friends. I sat in her room all the while. Looking at her pictures. Her albums.....her books....her wardrobe....her bed....nothing was same anymore. Cause it was all hers and it seemed as if  "we" never existed.

Now, she lives alone. All alone, away from her parents. She doesn't keep contact with any of her family members. She doesn't keep contact with me. I see her photograph sometimes on the paper, the journalists praising her works. I hear about her from my friends who saw her in some common places. I tried finding her in facebook....she even blocked me there. We live in the same city yet we do not see each other.

She is not the blood of the family. She is not the daughter of her father. She is not the daughter of her mother. She is not the sister of her sister. She is ADOPTED. She is the blood of some unknown family.....but does that change my feelings for her?....does that change my sisterhood towards her?....does that change the unchosen relation we share?.......

If yes, then even after knowing everything why do I still feel the same for her? Why do I still feel so close to her even being apart for so many years....? Why do I still crave for the sisterhood? Why do I still want to be with my cousin sister whom I had always looked up to as my own sister...rather, more than an own sister....
 The truth of her reality does not affect my love for her. She is my cousin sister and that is also a truth of my reality.

If no, then how did she grew so indifferent of me? How did she leave my hand....? The finger-cut-blood-pledge for life to be with each other at our innocent times....what happened to that? How could she forget the times that we had been together....crying and laughing....? She was my live diary and I was hers.....

Doesn't she miss me? Like I miss my cousin sister....
Doesn't she remember our little innocent times together?
Our wishes....our prayers together.....

I still cry over the times....
Cause I never wanted to lose her...
I never wanted to lose a friend as it is I still make very few friends...
I never wanted to lose another loved one...who was so close to my heart...

It doesn't matter where she comes from....
I had known her as my cousin sister and then with time our bonding grew so strong that we were more like own sisters and now it doesn't matter who she is...she will still be my sister no matter what...! And still after so many years I expect her.....her one step towards me for my so many tries....and we will be back to our sisterhood.

 I still want that one chance to talk with her and tell her that she will never be alone and I am there with her all steps.....cause I still miss my cousin sister and no own blood can fulfill her place in my heart.