I Think I Write...

Do you really get what you want? Or do you get what you deserve? The faith in you to reach there The finishing line, can you ever touch? The race gets to you at some point  And you start running in circles to catch the feather hanging at an arm's distance But don't you know, that chord is attached to you? The faster you run yet you cannot reach it and still run in circles! Look around you, all the moving wheels and the circles round and about  around you....rotating and changing Change is the only constant they say but what is the change? our body shapes our habits our environment our feelings our hormones our movements our ideas our ideologies our goals our love US? You? Yes you, the one reading this.....and also writing this You have also changed You are no more the same, from the one ten years back you don't care about the world, and don't wear makeup to hide the scar of that fall  you don't care about others' validation and don't wear to impress but to u...

Kolkata on postcard Kolkata Postcards photographs by Nemai Ghosh published by Starmark True to its title, the City of Joy as coined by the French author Dominique Lapierre, knows how to celebrate every victory, every win, even daily life. All my years in this city, it has taught me to LLC (Love, Live and Care).  There was a time when I wanted to leave. All my friends used to keep complaining about the faults of this city and they still do. Giving the idea that all this city did was to make you knock door for work and yet no opportunity came knocking on the door. I was influenced and I also wanted to leave.  On such an odd tiring day, after coming back home, my grandfather called me in his study. As I entered, the whole room was spread with the prints of photographs of his City taken by him. As I carefully positioned my stepping through the room, I fell in love with his City. So much known yet so unknown.  Later his idea got transformed into the 'Kolkata' Coffee Table Book...

Dear Me, I hope you are doing well! I know you have made through it! I wonder what the world is around you now! Maybe you are in a different city, in a different country! Hopefully, not in a different world! I surely can't be living upto the time when they finally make Mars possible for civilization! Well, wherever you are, however you are, I hope you are doing well! I know you have these sudden fits of sadness that wrap you and you don't feel like going further anymore. I know how you feel and for your those times, I am writing to you. You read this and remember what you have gone through and how far you have come. You have never given up before and you can't give up now! Do you remember, the nights you have spent planning your future! Filled pages in your diary with the things you wanted from yourself, from your life. Do you remember, you always wanted to give your loved ones a better life. You have given up on so many dreams and chosen the dreams that were more ...

It's that time of the year again. The cycle of 365 days got over and a new cycle started. Happy new Year to everyone reading and also to those not reading. For some this year will bring opportunities and successes, planning ahead in their lives and how to reach new goals again make fresh resolutions or renew the previous ones and for some....well some are just glad they could make this far. The year 2016 was very important to me for a variety of reasons. No...I didn't accomplish any university degree like the previous one but the education was not the bookish one this year. Being able to stand for myself and being able to speak for myself and face the core problems or obstacles in my life was a major inner achievement. However I have a long road to go on that sphere but this year was a start to that journey. This year gave me an insight on some people whom I dearly held close and also brought me close to people who I felt were mere strangers! Sometimes growing up make...

Almost after a year I am posting this piece. Though I kept visiting my blog and have wrote many articles which are lying in the draft section of this site, I didn't find them appropriate to be posted. Why? Because I thought I didn't write good enough and may be I still don't. They lacked something. I re-read my previous posts and found them to kid-ish and childlike. Like writing of an immature person. All soaked up in the sorrow of a broken heart. So, I thought many times of removing my blog site. Many times I almost did it but stopped at the final process of doing it. Why? Because what I wrote years ago was true at the time when I was writing them. It helped shaping me. It helped coping with the kind of psychological turmoil that I was going through and I am sure  everybody goes through during that time ( that's what teenage life is all about!) . So it was the truth of the time. Yes, maybe its immature and childlike and stupid but all the posts meant something ...

Wake up. Its early in the morning. I can see the sky through the bedroom window, changing colours. So many colours blended together so well. The darkness of the night is slowly turning into the brightness of the day. The silence of the night I can hear no more, are the birds waking up? or are they chirping to wake us up? The earth smells fresh The air feels fresh so I should freshen up and get ready for the day. Sipping on my green tea trying to recollect what unfinished work I had yesterday, I suddenly recollected my last night's dream. Dream of being big. Dream of achieving all my wishes one day. Dream of getting real. Dream that always brings a smile to my face. Dreams shouldn't be shared,everyone says, they don't come true then! So I kept the dream to myself. The day went on in its own pace. Every turn I take hitting hard on the dream I dreamt. Pushing me back into the reality of life, getting their joys from hammering on my dream. The ...

Did you walk those lanes From where once our world was born I'm still stuck on those lanes From where I started off with you The silence of the neighborhood is appalling From where to start  to tell you  what all happened with me  I cant decide! When you left me taking all your presence but silence Even the river flows silently here only there is the echo of our laughter  from the last game we played as a family A Complete Family! The silence is even tired of its silence and wants to break itself  But the struggle is never ending It feels like a parallel world running  it goes with the same timeline  but only running in past A part of me is still the 9 years old yearning to get scolded for all the mischief committed and the surprise treats  Yes I admit it I loved falling sick  for the little surprise treats brought me the joy of a lifetime Today standing in the crossroads...

I do... I did... Yes, Loved  Had deeply fallen in love when I had a broken heart  and she happened to me. And today when I am thinking about her  with a broken finger this time, It brings an inextricable smile on my face! That was a time long ago... I knew her from my school days  met her here and there  and then it was in grad school when I found her in front of the main gate I was so delighted to know  that I already have a friend...a person I'm acquainted with before. I brought her to my coaching class and then the whole story began Together the lanes we walked, the classes we went, and library study was an excuse for us  to gossip and gossip about everything but useful things ! We pledged our lives to be together,  We proposed each other. Her neighborhood seemed like mine as I was to be always found there And my house seemed no more mine as it became ours. everywhere it was her au...

I know how to find the answers.... I know how to spread my wings and fly with you...... I know when I look around I will find you.... I know the world is round... I know that you are always around... I know that you have changed me and....... I know that the time is gonna pass by.... and I know that I m never gonna tell you the things that I got to tell you ..... but I have to give it a try..... And out of all the things that i know ... I still don't know how to leave you... I don't know how to keep you apart........ and I don't know how you do it..... make me fall in love with you every time I am with you... and every time it feels new......out of all the fights that we have....all the quarrels and arguments we go through....yet you make me love you more and more with every passing day...that we spend together. When there is love everywhere.....and all these moments around us.....I want to hold you in my arms...and count the seconds in your breath..... Hear your heart beat...

"Chalte raho, apne rah pe chalte raho".....these words mean a lot. Life till now has given me a lot though I still haven't much seen of it.....it has also taken away a lot of precious things from me. "Whatever happens happens for the good" my mother keeps on telling me this. Life never stops for any body...time never waits for anybody. Its up to us whether we can keep pace with it and move with time or else lay back and watch time moving ahead of us. You are gone.. now I understand.......you have moved on in life..... I tried to hold time in the fist of my hand.....didn't want to face the practicality of life. I wanted to remain the teenage school girl...momma's little daughter forever...n just freeze the time in my past. Obviously that surely wasn't possible and I had to open my eyes.....see the practical life. It is not easy accepting the things the way they are now but its not even that hard..... I have started to see things differently than the...