I Think I Write...

It's that time of the year again. The cycle of 365 days got over and a new cycle started. Happy new Year to everyone reading and also to those not reading. For some this year will bring opportunities and successes, planning ahead in their lives and how to reach new goals again make fresh resolutions or renew the previous ones and for some....well some are just glad they could make this far. The year 2016 was very important to me for a variety of reasons. No...I didn't accomplish any university degree like the previous one but the education was not the bookish one this year. Being able to stand for myself and being able to speak for myself and face the core problems or obstacles in my life was a major inner achievement. However I have a long road to go on that sphere but this year was a start to that journey. This year gave me an insight on some people whom I dearly held close and also brought me close to people who I felt were mere strangers! Sometimes growing up make

Almost after a year I am posting this piece. Though I kept visiting my blog and have wrote many articles which are lying in the draft section of this site, I didn't find them appropriate to be posted. Why? Because I thought I didn't write good enough and may be I still don't. They lacked something. I re-read my previous posts and found them to kid-ish and childlike. Like writing of an immature person. All soaked up in the sorrow of a broken heart. So, I thought many times of removing my blog site. Many times I almost did it but stopped at the final process of doing it. Why? Because what I wrote years ago was true at the time when I was writing them. It helped shaping me. It helped coping with the kind of psychological turmoil that I was going through and I am sure  everybody goes through during that time ( that's what teenage life is all about!) . So it was the truth of the time. Yes, maybe its immature and childlike and stupid but all the posts meant something to

Wake up. Its early in the morning. I can see the sky through the bedroom window, changing colours. So many colours blended together so well. The darkness of the night is slowly turning into the brightness of the day. The silence of the night I can hear no more, are the birds waking up? or are they chirping to wake us up? The earth smells fresh The air feels fresh so I should freshen up and get ready for the day. Sipping on my green tea trying to recollect what unfinished work I had yesterday, I suddenly recollected my last night's dream. Dream of being big. Dream of achieving all my wishes one day. Dream of getting real. Dream that always brings a smile to my face. Dreams shouldn't be shared,everyone says, they don't come true then! So I kept the dream to myself. The day went on in its own pace. Every turn I take hitting hard on the dream I dreamt. Pushing me back into the reality of life, getting their joys from hammering on my dream. The

Did you walk those lanes From where once our world was born I'm still stuck on those lanes From where I started off with you The silence of the neighborhood is appalling From where to start  to tell you  what all happened with me  I cant decide! When you left me taking all your presence but silence Even the river flows silently here only there is the echo of our laughter  from the last game we played as a family A Complete Family! The silence is even tired of its silence and wants to break itself  But the struggle is never ending It feels like a parallel world running  it goes with the same timeline  but only running in past A part of me is still the 9 years old yearning to get scolded for all the mischief committed and the surprise treats  Yes I admit it I loved falling sick  for the little surprise treats brought me the joy of a lifetime Today standing in the crossroads  I understand the value of  every lit

You fill up my senses: Like night in a forest, Like mountains in spring time, Like walk in the rain, Like storm in the desert, Like a sleepy blue ocean. You fill up my senses Come fill me again. Come let me love you, Let me give my life to you, Let me drown in your laughter,  Let me die in your arms... Let me lay down beside you, Let me always be with you, Come let me love you,  Come love me again. -John Denver

As I was pondering  On the day As I was wondering How we smoke  And spoke  As you stroke me with your words All your understanding and misunderstanding  Your views are not much new !  We have gone through this hell!  Confessing never goes well!  You broke my heart once  And once again you did hurt me A little hope I dared  Foolish me! I should have been scared  as this is no more a friendship Its everything but a relationship An agreement mutually understood  Not to poke me when I'm misunderstood You can't comment on my affairs! Oh no more You lost your right over this fight!   You can always hate my man You can always wish for what I have  But its simple humanity that you lack You know ways to hurt me when you can  No more will I endure this pain As I am letting go of this feeling no more in strain Whats gone cannot be welcomed back And no one is to blame but you As you went obsessive about me And I have no obligation

I do... I did... Yes, Loved  Had deeply fallen in love when I had a broken heart  and she happened to me. And today when I am thinking about her  with a broken finger this time, It brings an inextricable smile on my face! That was a time long ago... I knew her from my school days  met her here and there  and then it was in grad school when I found her in front of the main gate I was so delighted to know  that I already have a friend...a person I'm acquainted with before. I brought her to my coaching class and then the whole story began Together the lanes we walked, the classes we went, and library study was an excuse for us  to gossip and gossip about everything but useful things ! We pledged our lives to be together,  We proposed each other. Her neighborhood seemed like mine as I was to be always found there And my house seemed no more mine as it became ours. everywhere it was her aura though we spoke about him  a

Today, after all these days precisely after two months when I started writing it feels as if my fingers have frozen and I have lost my mental dictionary of words!  As I was typing and deleting and typing,  it struck me- why had I started writing this blog regularly so many years back? what was the reason due to which this blog took its birth? The answer is simple and quite funny!  Its Attention......Yes its attention.  Just attention! Why do we do the things that we do?  Why do wear clothes and be so choosy about our shoes? Why do we take hours to put on those gallons of makeup on our face?  Why do we buy all those accessories and jewelries?  Some will say to look beautiful and some will say to look presentable but the basic thing of looking presentable and beautiful is to seek some attention from people we care about or we don't know!  Everyone seeks attention whether its a little baby, who hasn't yet spoken the first word  or a seventy year

Its an end of an age. A period of my life. When I wrote my first post it was the end of school life and was getting prepared to step into the world of unkown. Today when I write this post its the end of that beautiful three graduation years. The completion of the basic education of an individual. And now I am stepping into the life of university. A different feeling altogether. Making new friends again. New faces to interact with. New problems to adjust with. A new lifestyle. New routine. And most importantly a new opportunity to make my extended family grow bigger! Yet after all these years it doesnt feel that long ago when I was holding my father's hand and waited for my school bus to come. Today also I stand on the same bus stand, independent, waiting for my career bus to drop me somewhere I'd be happy to go!   Years pass too quickly for us. And it wont be long before my university days also get over and I move on to  bag in some more degrees. So in this race of life nothing

You are the strength of my weakness being the success of all my failures and the smile to all my tears u are the light of all the darkness and the focus of the distorted blur being the force of the motion u are the one in the crowd I dream to be with You are that person who knew me best when I was at my worst held my hand at every step making me your own at every step my heart cries to shout out loud to the world who u are to me what u are to me how you happened to be with me when I was losing all hopes with every lost hope you brought the strength in me giving me my own self by letting yourself go. loving every step with u and i wanted to say this to u thatswhy today i write again that I LOVE YOU when even the world may go against us I will be happy just holding u with the calmness in u no complications no compromises no sacrifices no lies with the freedom of our individualities we will be the blissful souls of al

Took a deep breath and looked at mirror . Finally believing that I am looking presentable enough walked out of home. I was expecting you'd be late and was thinking whether I should react on that or not. How should I start the conversation. Was this meeting required. Would you be the way you are over the phone or like I had seen you in our rare acquaintances during our college classes behaving like a senior, with glimpses of superiority and a dominant attitude demanding respect. Or would you shed all that and meet me as a humble person.Why am I even seeing you. Well, no this is not nervousness. I was just clearing things for myself. It was over weeks that we had started talking regularly. We had been sharing our daily schedule and it was time that we should step out of the visual world. I didn't want to drink alone so I had invited you to give me some company. Sometimes you need to meet people and make friends coming out of your own circle just to feel better. As I was thi

How big can a lie be? Can a lie be big enough to be lied to or lied for? What sort of relationship is it when you have to lie or being lied? What is true and lie who is to decide? Is it not only us who separate the truth from the lie?  If after a certain doing we forget about that and do not say it to anybody because quite obviously we have forgotten about it then can such an incident be termed as a lie? Then, can such a person be termed as a liar? Whereas, when a person remains silent at a point of giving a decision his/her silence is taken as an affirmative decision. So, in such a case can silence be termed as a lie? Who is a liar? Who knows what the truth is? Who knows the actual incidence of the things, which includes the circumstances, the environment, the emotional status, and everything else related directly or indirectly? One event is interpreted in a thousand ways by a thousand people. So how can we say what is the true occurrence of an event?

Kolkata, oh my Kolkata, It’s time for you to wake up and play the game, You have shown your love to the visitors, Where is your love to the work you do everyday! You wake up… You get up... And run for your offices right before you get red marked! You love “ macher jhol”, You make your files live in the “jhul”. You love “ mishit doi”, And you make your children eat “Koi”! No pub, no club, Its only and “shudhu bondhu-der adda”, Puja pandal or “bank er line”… And here it starts the “poroninda n porochorcha” in no time! Kolkata, oh my ‘poriborton-er’ Kolkata, It’s time for you to wake up, And do the work in time. ~ Shreya Ghosh.

She was there with me all the time. She was my first friend , she was more like a parent to me and sometimes like a daughter to me... We never left each other and every time we met, it was hard to part us.... We could play for hours and she would listen to all that I instructed her during our games. I played with her, went to school with her, slept with her, said her my dreams, sometimes even bathed with her and even cried together when the eyes started to irritate due to the shampoo, dressed each other up, and shared the marks with each other.....almost like two inseparable innocent souls.We were two innocent kids. Time went on like this, at home, in the parties...everywhere and everyone started thinking we were sisters of the same parent.... Then one day I lost my father and still she was there, to hold me. We were kids. I thought,like we post letters to keep in contact with people living far away, I could do the same to talk with my father,to keep in contact with him even after

The beauty of the earthen silence... The silence of the dark cold winter night... The hues of morning blues The light of the morning sky ... The cry of  the new born baby The sound of the engine starting... The overfilled love rejoiced The boiling milk spilled over... The craziness of the lovers The illogical logic of the heart... The lullaby of the dreams The dreams yet to be dreamt... The hopes of the future The future unpredictable... The sound of the waves violent The violent fights witnessed everyday.... The sound of the applauding audience The echo of a shattered loser... The joy of the winning trophy The tears of losing everything... The love yet to be confessed The love lost to someone else... The chill of the winter nights The sweat of the summer cloudless days.... The murmur of the wind brushing your cheeks The smoke forming rings out of your lips.... The tear of exchanging hearts The tear o

Its raining. I can smell the earth just as the drop of rain kisses the ground.....and the view of the earthen soil slowly getting soaked in the rain water. The wind has an earthen taste in it. Cool breeze touches my forehead n plains out all the stress lines...sweeps off my tears with its flow.....and yet another drop of tear makes its own path down my cheeks and slowly falls down making friendship with the rain. It rains day and night. And I stare outside the window ...blank. Too many thoughts cloud my mind . Too clumsy to distinctly separate them. So many ideas rush into my little brain at one point of time, And the next minute I feel so blank. The clouds draw up close and it gets more dark. I feel dark too....mixed feelings clouding my heart. It seems as if the Sky is in war with the Land. One showing how much it can pour and the other showing its power to soak down the downpour. At home day and night. Confi

The season of summer vacations in schools and colleges, humid and tiring afternoon, dark hot nights, early mornings....and the hardcore season of hard work has arrived. These passing by days reminds me of our old past gone by times. I was small and so were you. You were from a different school and so was I. I was immature unlike you. You were shy and so was I. We walked down the same lane twice and thrice....yet again... Killing time with your jokes and my laughter. Even shy to take back my pen from you....in the fear that I might touch your finger. Smile at each other without any reason and our friends teasing us. Clarifying your maths problems with the teacher cause you were too shy to even show them to her and tell her that you didn't understand. Going out late from my home so that I reach my class late cause you were stuck in a traffic jam. Not going to the classes, making excuses of stomach ache and headache cause I knew that you were not coming. Attending classes even in high

Life is unpredictable...and weird ....when things were going perfectly fine everything suddenly just messed up. ..all the perfection...everything just gone..... I don't understand how to explain cause even after so many months I found myself back exactly in the same position in life from where I had once started.... I thought him to be the ONE with whom I can spend my life without complaining...but surely that's not what my destiny wanted... I still respect him for his values and will always be thankful to him for whatever he has done for me...and all those cherishing moments together....but whatever it was between us...it wasn't love that is for sure. Cause every time I was with him I unconsciously always tried to find you in him. I was never able to forget you and erase you from the pages of my life....I tried hard but every time I was disappointed. I tried my best to fall in love with him and for that I tried all possibilities. Dedicating my blogs to him, writing art

I know how to find the answers.... I know how to spread my wings and fly with you...... I know when I look around I will find you.... I know the world is round... I know that you are always around... I know that you have changed me and....... I know that the time is gonna pass by.... and I know that I m never gonna tell you the things that I got to tell you ..... but I have to give it a try..... And out of all the things that i know ... I still don't know how to leave you... I don't know how to keep you apart........ and I don't know how you do it..... make me fall in love with you every time I am with you... and every time it feels new......out of all the fights that we have....all the quarrels and arguments we go through....yet you make me love you more and more with every passing day...that we spend together. When there is love everywhere.....and all these moments around us.....I want to hold you in my arms...and count the seconds in your breath..... Hear your heart beat

"Chalte raho, apne rah pe chalte raho".....these words mean a lot. Life till now has given me a lot though I still haven't much seen of it.....it has also taken away a lot of precious things from me. "Whatever happens happens for the good" my mother keeps on telling me this. Life never stops for any body...time never waits for anybody. Its up to us whether we can keep pace with it and move with time or else lay back and watch time moving ahead of us. You are gone.. now I understand.......you have moved on in life..... I tried to hold time in the fist of my hand.....didn't want to face the practicality of life. I wanted to remain the teenage school girl...momma's little daughter forever...n just freeze the time in my past. Obviously that surely wasn't possible and I had to open my eyes.....see the practical life. It is not easy accepting the things the way they are now but its not even that hard..... I have started to see things differently than the